shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just pynch a tree in the face
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
