It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
