He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
