I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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