I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
