Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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