needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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