We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
