I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
