I'm going to jail i love you
...so i touched it.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
