I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
