Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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