normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
