We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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