I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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