You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
