I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
