he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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