Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
