i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
