i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
