so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
My breasts were aching with rage.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
