she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
