if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
