worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
