hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
