Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
