Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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