Swine flu. Run for my life!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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