HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
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