if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i will never coherently bang her
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
