I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
