today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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