i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
