This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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