so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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