woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
