so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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