Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
