she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
