Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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