I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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