No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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