Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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