this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have already put on my inside pants.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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