oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
