singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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