so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
