you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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