Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
